Friday, May 25, 2007
I was in the middle of a dream this morning that I had to tell about. I've had various child-rearing dreams here and there, where I have forgotten to feed the baby or fed the baby way late. This one was set at Easter time. All I can remember of it is me carrying Shayla and talking to her. She was actually Asian in this one. This is the first ever dream I've had of her that she was Asian...most times I don't even see the face close up. I remember feeling panicked that she had been awake for hours and I had totally forgotten to change her diaper (and I was apologizing to her profusely). Then in the next scene was Mark and my mom. Mark had put this cute cream and light purple Easter jumper and sweater on Shayla...cute outfit that we don't even have. I remember seeing the collar on it messed up and the back of the sweater tucked in...I was freaking out because he had dressed her (badly) and I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN to change her diaper. I remember telling her how sorry I was and that I didn't mean to be a bad mom. I guess these dreams are normal? I've heard of pregnant women having dreams too. I pray I don't forget to feed her or change her diaper. I swear I'll be the best mom I can be, but I hate the way these dreams make me feel. I feel like I've failed before I've even started.